‘Toddler-proof’ your home by placing dangerous or breakable things out of reach.
Have clear routines to your child’s day, for example regular lunch, nap, bath and bedtimes.
Plan ahead, keeping an eye on frustration levels so you can step in before they go over the top.
Provide lots of opportunities to let off steam every day –running around outside, at the playground, dancing to music.
Give children some control and choice over what to eat, wear or play with.
Use distractions and diversions for as long as they work – a new toy, a changed activity, a song or game.
As children reach pre-school age, discuss how you want them to behave in different situations and have clear, simple rules.

If Tantrums do happen...

With all the previous strategies in place, parents are likely to have a relatively tantrum-free life. But it makes sense to have a few ideas up your sleeve for how to deal with them.

For a minor episode...

Try ignoring, by walking into another room or just carrying on with your own tasks
Use calming techniques to lower your own stress levels – deep breathing, relaxing your muscles, positive talk inside your head: ‘I will keep calm’.
If ignoring hasn’t worked, some children can be jollied along out of an episode. Say something like, ‘Time to stop now – I’ll count to 10’, then give plenty of praise and cuddles if the tantrum stops.
In the supermarket, it is sometimes best to just pick up your child and go outside to cut down your embarrassment.

For a really major tantrum, different tactics are needed...

Speak calmly, saying things like ‘I’m here, I won’t let you hurt yourself’.
Hold your child tightly, preferably making eye contact.
Sometimes you just have to weather the storm till your child calms down.
‘Time out’ can help if you find it impossible to stay calm. Time out involves putting your child somewhere safe but boring (for example a playpen, pushchair or the bottom step) for a couple of minutes. It should never be forced in anger and is not really understood by under 3’s. It may work best for parents to take it themselves!

Top Tips for Cutting Down Tantrums

Aim for some happy, relaxed times every day – reading a story, visiting the park, playing a game.
Show a good example by remaining calm when times are stressful. This encourages your toddler to do the same.
Cut down negatives – constantly saying ‘No’ will add to a toddler’s frustration. Instead, use phrases like ‘later’, or ‘after lunch’.
Keep aware of new stresses (potty training, starting nursery) that may need more sympathy.
Respect your child’s feelings. Feeling understood will reduce your child’s need for tantrums. Try saying, ‘I know that makes you mad’ or ‘That must have made you feel sad’. Your child will see that their feelings...

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