Q:“My four year old son came out of nappies in June last year and was brilliant – dry, dry, dry - YIPPEE. A couple of months later he started to 'dribble'. This has now been going on for about six months. He ignores the signs of needing a wee and even sometimes ignores me asking him to go or even denies he needs a wee and then a few minutes later, he will be wet. I've had days where I've had to change his pants and trousers seven times! Please, has anyone got any advice - we are finding it incredibly draining and tiring and frustrating.”

Elizabeth says:

"First, rule out any medical reasons for this. It’s rare, but possible. Likely your son just isn’t willing to stop his play to use the toilet and has no problem with you changing his trousers. Get him involved and make him responsible. Show him where the clean clothes are kept and where the dirty ones are to be put. When he has an accident direct him gently to go take care of his problem. Don’t let him get on with playing until he has properly changed and put his wet clothing where they belong. When he tires of this process he’ll likely make it to the toilet on time! To make success even quicker be sure to give him some praise and encouragement when he uses the toilet on time."

Q: “Our three-year-old has been potty/toilet training for four months now and he still has accidents. Any ideas would be very helpful. We really are getting very worried about this.”

Elizabeth says:

"It is perfectly normal for a newly trained child to have one or more accidents every single day. Even children who have been trained for six months or more may have an accident once a week. The best solution is to be prepared for these with proper cleaning materials, easy access to a change of clothes, and a relaxed attitude.

One approach that can help reduce the amount of accidents is for you to become familiar with your child’s signals of impending need and take your child to the potty when you suspect he needs to go. Do not ask if he has to go, since he’ll likely say no. Instead, invite him to follow you, “Let’s go to the potty,” or offer a choice, “Do you want to use your potty or the big toilet?” or simply take him by the hand and lead him to the bathroom, “Come with me, kiddo.”

There’s one last thing for you to consider. Do you give your child more attention (good or bad) when he has an accident than when he has success? Turn the tables. Clean up accidents quickly and without emotion; and at the same time provide lots of praise, hugs and attention for every productive potty visit.

Q: “Our daughter spends half her time at my house and half her time at her father’s. How should we approach toilet training?”

Elizabeth says:

"The more consistent things are in both places, the easier this will be for your little one. If possible, it’s great if you could both read the same book or article about toilet training. Decide o...

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