How to Go from Foe to Friend with Siblings London
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(Companies listed on this page are in no way endorsed by Supernanny or Supernanny.co.uk) How to Go from Foe to Friend with Siblings
By Supernanny Team 18/05/2007
When you introduce your sweet newborn to his big brother or sister you’ll do it with a song in your heart, happily imagining a sibling relationship straight out of The Waltons. And your firstborn probably will be enchanted and intrigued by the new arrival… for about a day and a half.
After that it’s likely that her opinion will range from “Why does he cry so much?” to “Can we send him back?”, with brief spells of “Leave my stuff alone,” and “Get out of my room!”. And as far as the baby of the family goes, he may think he’s second-best and feel pretty jealous that his big brother or sister got there first, can climb that tree, stays up later…. But what can you do to end the constant battles and build lasting bonds?
It’s simple: they’re different! Kids at different ages are at different developmental levels, and this affects the way they relate to each other. It also means they may have very different needs when it comes to you. They’re also likely to have different personalities and temperaments. Add a liberal sprinkling of the jealousy that’s bound to occur as they vie for your attention, and there you have it…
Baby vs toddler
The two-year age gap tends to be the norm and pits baby against toddler. Your baby is curious and once he gets on the move nothing is sacred, least of all your toddler’s toys. In walks your toddler, who is just reaching the assertive stage but lacks the communication skills to express her displeasure verbally. At the least you’ll have one crying baby protesting the forcible removal of the new plaything; at worst, a category 5 toddler tantrum.
Kindergartner vs grade-schooler
Your kindergartner will probably seethe as he’s marched off to bed while his big sister gets to stay up and watch Hannah Montana – not a day will go past without a chorus of “It’s not fair!” ringing through the house. In turn, your tween is likely to resent what she perceives as favouritism as you make allowances for the baby of the family but expect her to ‘act her age’.
Teen vs tween
Your tween is likely to follow the older sibling around desperate for some attention, wanting to be like him, dress like him, talk like him, get to do all the cool things he does… on the other hand, your teen wants to flex his independence and may thoroughly resent having to spend time with his younger brother or sister, much less helping you out by entertaining them and setting a good example.
Help peace break out
Bring your kids closer together by taking a close look at how you relate to them and deal with your own disagreements, as well as creating an atmosphere that encourages sibling revelry instead of triggering sibling squabbles…
Fight right…
Your kids are influenced by what you say and do in every aspect of their lives. If they see you explode if something doesn’t go right for you, they’re likely to react that way themselves. Set a good example by facing up to problems calmly and constructively – ...