Expert Solutions to Toilet Training Problems Kendal

By  Elizabeth Pantley Parenting author and expert Supernanny Expert 27/05/2008

Q: “I am desperately seeking some advice for my almost two-year-old daughter. She has had a potty and toilet seat since she was 15 months old and enjoys sitting on both. However, the moment she actually needs to pass water or stools she holds herself whilst throwing a complete tantrum. She cries out for a nappy and the moment we put it on, she goes in her nappy. She even plays with her dolls on the potty and is not scared of the flush as she insists on doing it for me. She claps when I use the toilet and gives me a hug. I am not sure where we go from here. Please advise.”

Elizabeth says:

If your child seems totally clueless – she probably is. For her entire life she’s peed and pooed in her nappy and never even noticed this elimination. Now you want her to not only notice, but hold it, and then put it somewhere else! She may see sitting on the potty as a clever game but have no idea what it is intended for. It’s time to read children’s toilet training books; have a sibling or friend or parent demonstrate; give a few step-by-step lessons; and maybe even have some bare naked play-time before the bath to help her see and feel what’s happening down there. You might even have a jump-start training weekend. Pick a time you will be at home. Give her lots and lots and lots to drink and visit the potty often. Catch and reward success but don’t be too intense or demanding. Follow up with several months of relaxed but attentive reminders and teaching.

Q: “My son is 3 and we have been trying to toilet/potty train him since the health visitor said to do it when he was two years old. We had a bit of success, but now he would rather mess and wee in his trousers. He does not care if he has a wet or has messy pants. He is due to start nursery soon and we would like him dry by then, as I am really worried they will not take him on.”

Elizabeth says:

It’s possible that your child has tried, but feels overwhelmed. You may be transferring the pressure that you feel since you were told it was time to train, and even more pressure about his nursery deadline. He may have had high expectations for himself and feels he’s failed both of you. He may just need more understanding that this isn’t a one-day job, but will take some time to learn. Praise him for the things he can do, no matter how small, and build from those. Pressure to rush may be holding things back, but a positive, encouraging outlook will likely boost your success.

Q: “My son is almost four and still wears pull up nappies at night. How can we get him to stop wetting his bed?”

Elizabeth says:

I did a great amount of research on bedwetting for my books on potty training and sleep. The most important thing I learned was that the common reasons for bedwetting are biological. A child’s kidneys aren’t sending a signal to his brain when he’s asleep, or his bladder hasn’t grown large enough to last all night, or he ...

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