Children with a Disability or Chronic Illness Kendal
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Children with a Disability or Chronic Illness
By Supernanny Team 26/04/2007
Since men and women experience this challenge differently, it can be hard to work together – but teamwork is vital in order to keep your family strong and united.
How it can affect you
We all have hopes and dreams for our children and want them to be perfect. Having a child who has special needs can turn a family upside-down. Mum and Dad may find that all their time is taken up with caring for their special child, and brothers and sisters feel left out. Your patience will probably be stretched to the limit at times and if your special-needs child isn’t able to communicate easily, it may cause even more frustration.
Developmental stages may be long and slow – where your other children had passed through the tantrum stage by kindergarten, your special needs child may take years, or not outgrow them at all. “It may seem that every time your special needs child accomplishes something, a new challenge looms on the horizon,” says psychologist and Supernanny Expert Dr Robert Naseef, himself dad to a special-needs child. “That being said, the smallest achievements can be the source of great joy and pride – but you don’t have to lie to yourself about how hard this can be and the toll that it can take on your marriage.”
Working it out…
- Plan in some alone time Whether it’s a cuddle and chat after the kids go to bed or a night out, try to do something together away from your children. “Start small,” Dr Naseef cautions, “because it may be hard to get a babysitter or plan an evening out guilt free.” It’s your close bond with each other that will help you cope when things are difficult.
- Take care of yourself If your special-needs child takes up a lot of time, your own needs may be forgotten. It’s OK to be selfish now and then and focus on the things that you enjoy, whether it’s a session at the gym or taking an hour to yourself to read or relax. “Your child needs your energy and vitality,” says Dr Naseef. “It can be hard for your children to thrive with overwhelmed, stressed out parents.”
- Stick together Dividing the kids between you, and having one parent shoulder the responsibility for your special-needs child while the other deals with her brothers and sisters, may create divisions in your family. “Many people do try to survive this way, and they become ‘tag-team’ parents,” Dr Naseef says. “But the division that occurs can be painful for all and lead to resentment.”
- Get help National organisations and local help groups can be a huge support when it comes to finding out more about your child’s condition and learning new ways to manage it. Respite care can take your child off your hands for a few hours or even days to give you a much-needed break.
How it can affect your special-needs child
Your special-needs child isn’t immune from similar stresses. Poor social skills can make her feel left out and her frustration is likely to increase if she has difficulty communicating. If she’s fully awar...